Cursed or is it just meant to be? (Part II)

It's been really damn long since I have kinda abandoned this story to be honest. I am really really sorry for that. As you all would know that I have been deprieved of the chance to update my blog regularly and I truely appologize for that. Anyways I shall continue this story's 2nd phase from where I left it off previously. You can read the 1st phase @ http://ty-my-thoughts.blogspot.com/2011/05/cursed-or-is-it-just-meant-to-be.html

Previously,
Seeing her without make up for the 1st time made things harder for Jay. He felt he has met his match finally but should he be doing what he is doing? That was his thought. He wants but he can't. So trying not to waste much time, he decided to take her out instead. So..................

Part II

So he reached out for her hand and without much hesitation just dragged her along to his bike and hopped on board. Looking at her warm eyes, Jay handed her a cute turtle shell helmet and

"Trust me! Let me take you for a ride that could last for a life time!"

Beth on the other hand, with a little hesitation took the helmet and got on the bike. *VrrooOOoomMmm!!!*



Off they went rounding the city which is half asleep both thinking of different things. All that mattered for Jay was that he was with Beth for the mean time and nobody could ever take them apart. Halfway through Beth asked Jay to take her to a hilly place to chill.

Jay took Beth to a small hill nearby the outskirts of the city which was called the "Heavenly Realm". Learning about the name of the place, Beth wanted to know the story behind it.

"This place got it's name because of it's unexplainable happening during the full moon period whereby this place gets lid up by the full moon. There was a myth that angels and goddess come down here during this period of time to gather the festive the full moon's ambiance"

The moment he finished his explanation, Beth just lid up as bright as the full moon whom itself shines majestically in the naked sky of a starry night. How he wished he could just recite all those poems that seemed to be oozing out of his heart and head that could potray the beauty that was right in front of him but words were never enough.

So he just stood there mesmerized of the beauty before his eyes. Seeing him speechless, Beth turned around and asked what was wrong.

Jay, " No nothing is wrong dear. I am just lost of words to explain how I feel. It is just too perfect" with a faint smile.

As sparkly as the brightest star in the sky, Beth's warm brown eyes gazed upon Jay's. The moment was more than perfect and it seemed to be begging to be made complete by a kiss. Both were leaning towards each other when Jay realized what was about to happen and pulled away. He walked away to the edge of the hill looking at the moon.

Beth had statued in her place staring with a dismay look on her face. Jay kneeled down to his knees and gazed up to the moon as if he was longing for the moon's embrace which he knew would never happen. Straightening herself, Beth walked up to Jay and sat down beside him leaning herself on Jay.

"Thank you." said Beth after some silent moment.

"For?" , Snapped Jay with a teary eyes.

"I don't think I would ever be able to explain how I feel tonight. This place, the atmosphere, you, and I don't what else have made me feel so alive. I have never experienced such beautiful.. erm stuff? Thingy? Feelings? I don't know exactly what to say but it's something that I'll never be able to forget for the rest of my life! I wish I could just...."

Jay covered Beth's mouth with his palms, and whispered "shhh, I know." Smiling faintly he pulled Beth closer as they both lied down gazing upon the stars. Lying there thinking that the night could never get better, Jay closed his eyes...........


Now then, am sorry if I had cut short your excitement. I would admit that this was one of the toughest part that I had to come up with. Thanks to the help of my bestie Anita Marianne who cracked her head with me to finish the 2nd part. Hope to get your response of this so I could come up with the 3rd and the final chapter of this story.

Hope you guys enjoyed it. Stay tuned!!!

PS: I know the pictures don't really mean much but they are merely fillers. Sorry. ;)

Cursed or is it just meant to be?

Disclaimer : Every characters, places and everything is just plainly made up for this story. It is just a story that I worked up for some time. Hoping to get some feedbacks from all you guys!

Jay was in ecstatic mood that day. It was his first day of work and he was excited. Not long after, it was lunch time so he rushed off to the canteen with his new met friends/colleagues lining up to pay when his eyes caught a rare sight of attraction.

1 look and he felt the blood rush to his head, heavy and fast heart beats, goosebumps, and sudden heat. He wanted to turn away before he gets a slap but the weirdest thing happened.

"Hey there, u must be new here. Am Beth!"

"*Stuttering* H-hey, Jay here. Nice to meet you!"

Being just out of relationship, Jay was in a fragile state hence he tried his level best to keep his cool. His past relationship which lasted just over 3 years, was still fresh in his memories and ever since he never felt this kind of strong attraction before.

Seeing Jay talking to this hot chick, all his friends started to tease him. Hearing it, his heart started to race faster and he could feel his face getting hotter and hotter.

"OMG! Don't tell me you are blushing dude!" said 1 of his friend. Jay of course never told them about his past and judging from his never depleting hyper-ness and smile on his face, everyone thought that he was actually a player!

Jay on the other hand was actually trying his level best to contain his feelings. So the rest of the day just went away with Jay dying to see his new found angel again. Luck wasn't on his side at least that day so he just left it to pass.

So day after day he was trying to look for the same eyes that caught him but never managed to get any luck till the 4th day when he saw her again! She was with her friends lining up to pay laughing happily. That made his day as that was what he longing for! Just to see her! Trying not to look too obvious, he always tried to just steal a peak and keeping his mouth busy at the same time with his friends.

This continued on for awhile until 1 day he bumped into her alone. Somehow working up his courage, he stops her.

"Hey, which department are you in? How was your day so far?"
"Not bad, am for sales team Jay. Day is boring with never ending training." said Beth with a smile.

Jay suddenly realized what a fool he was as he actually thought that she was his senior! Now that he knew she was actually part of the sales team, he knew he had to do something so that he could have some reason to see her again.

With a very obvious hesitant tone, "Hey mind if I have your number? Since after this we might not see each other, at least we could keep in touch...." Feeling his whole body shaky, and blood starting to rush through the veins, he waited for the "NO" word.

"Sure! Why don't you take mind and I will text you." said Beth. Seeing both exchanging numbers, all of Jay's friends were very jealous of him. They started to tease him even more and that's when his phone went off! Everyone jumped to see the text and started off with a small celebration to see the text from Beth.

That night they text each other and Jay could not hide his joy as he was having trouble sleeping and all. He had no idea that it would only last for day.

The next day, Jay starting his test calls as he was a call center agent, was sitting in his table went he received a text from Beth saying she saw him. So being excited and witty, he replied daring Beth to come over and say Hi to him. Little he thought that she would actually turn up at his table with the rest of his team looking at him!

That was the cue, he thought but as the day went by he realized Beth sounded a little distressed. Worried, he wanted to know what was the reason just to find out that Beth was actually is leaving to Melbourne the next day as that's where she was placed.

A text came in asking him what took him so long to get Beth's number. That was a slap to his conscious and that was not the end of it. He felt he had already wasted precious time which he could have actually used to create good memories.

Then he finds out that Beth was actually married with a daughter of 2 years and half! That broke his heart but he decided to just let everything go by the flow itself so he kept it within himself. He was dying to have some time with Beth. He ended his shift 5 hours earlier but decided to wait till Beth's done with hers.

It was almost 8pm and they met. He could feel the strong hunch that Beth had fallen for him, but the fact that she was married and all scared him. After having a short conversation, they parted ways with Jay in a very confused state.

That night, Beth called Jay.

"Hey, now that you know tomorrow I am leaving, would you come visit me if I asked you to?"

Jay was waiting for that but he was torn apart with mixed feelings. He wanted so badly to be with Beth but she was someone else's. Yet still thinking that he ain't gonna throw his chance away, he makes a desperate trip to visit Beth.

Seeing her without make up for the 1st time made things harder for Jay. He felt he has met his match finally but should he be doing what he is doing? That was his thought. He wants but he can't. So trying not to waste much time, he decided to take her out instead. So..................

That would be it for now. I believe this is quite long enough that I decided to make it to part posts. =)

And really sorry if I had cut short you guys of excitement guys. Don't worry the best part of the story is yet to come! Trust me!

Psst : Please don't mind those pics. They might not suite the moment for that particular part.

Don't forget to leave your comments guys! Looking forward for it as I would love to improve on my writing skills as I progress.

Day 05 - A time you thought about ending your own life

Glad that I actually found some space of time to talk about this. At a tender age of 13 I felt that it was rare that teenagers feel all alone though being surrounded by their friends.

I was an emo kid just by the look because I was very good in hiding my emotions. Due to that people always thought that I was "hyper" kid and the "happy go lucky" type hence people never really bothered about how I felt. So sometimes I tend to talk to myself about things that bother me so much since I always kept them within me.

Yea felt as if I had a real friend but I was sane enough to know that it was all my imagination. However things doesn't really help much and after advice from various random people, I decided to open up. Well I used to have scars on me, that's how these few people realized. During those times I felt so pissed to be such a phailure! 

Being told that your an emotional person, weak in heart, hurting ur ownself and blah blah ain't nice to hear. I never liked it hence I changed once more. But life would never be easy for those meant for greater things in life, right? Well of course, this is proved based on the histories and not self praised. 

As things went by I certainly hit my rock bottom phase in my life. I've faced a few types of phailures and I think among all those, this was the worst. Because I really didn't know what to do. Standing on top of building rooftops, with a few bottles of beers around, anything can happen from there. Of course am not attempting to die or anything just sitting there to enjoy the view, but during those times is when these thoughts came flooding.

 

At it was then when the magical things happened. I had someone to share my feelings, pains with. Guys have feelings to, and they would want to be treated the same way you girls would like us to treat you to. So be nice when you sense ur partner is troubled yea! 

So last but not least, life is not something that you can waste just like that. Ending your own life never prove anything expect stupidity and coward-ness. Maybe some might think otherwise. Think about it for a moment, you could always have a chance to turn things around whilst your still alive but once your gone, that's the end. Wasted, no?

These cartoon images are certainly cute. And they are meant to make u smile. But at the same think, take a minute to think carefully about why is there a need to end your life as well. So just before I end, I would love to dedicate this song " When your gone - Avril Lavigne" to everyone who have lost someone dear to them in any ways. 

Appreciate life and it will appreciate you back. Make sure you be there for those who are fragile and open up when you feel like your suffocating! Life is too precious to throw it away! 

Live on so that you will be able to read my blog continually! Just joking! *grin* Next stop would be Day 06 - Write 30 interesting facts about yourself. 

I feel alone~

Well you know all those times whenever ur down or sad there is always someone who would eventually say that they would be there for you? Yea same happened to me as I simply can't remember all those people who actually said that to me. Buthen whenever I really am in need of someone to actually make me feel better or by just having someone around, nobody is every around!!

Hey it's not like you could actually go and meet anyone just because your upset right? Sigh.

And what happens is that when called or sms, everyone is so busy with their own life and own stuffs that sometimes I end up wondering if they even care whether I'd be alive or dead.... But let's just say that it's they who is having the problem.......

Look at how they'd be chasing me and would get so pissed off that I couldn't be there. What am I? Some emotion-less human or wait! Am I even a human to begin with? *smack head*

At times I just feel like I wanna break free at any costs. No matter what ever way am sorry but that's how I feel. Wishing upon the star for an angel to grab ma soul away~ Sigh.....

All I want is just some care... Am I asking too much? Though there are a few people who actually LOVE to know what is actually going on with me so they could practically beat me down even more than I already am....

The above pic is how I exactly feel. I've been faking as if I am happy and all but actually I feel like I am just dying slowly inside. I wanna let go of it. But HOW?!!

Everytime I just feel almost snapping at someone for even small issues. Sometimes feel like just wanna go bang my head on the wall for no reason or even worst feel like strangling ownself. T____T

I need a break. Someone kindly save me.... Even a day would do....

Tough Times Ahead~

Well been kinda shocked that I do have a few people who actually support my blog! Thank you!! Thank you people!! =)

Anyways, it's been a tough beginning of the week for me as my probation in my company was extended and all in all now i hear from my management side that my career would depend on how my drama goes!

I mean wtf?! My career as a customer service rep is going to be based on a freaking drama?!

To make things even better for me, the drama team is simply "CHAOS!". Everyone with their own plans, their ideas, their own egos all wanting to be the 1 to run the show. Why didn't I just back down? Somehow I do have this feeling that things are going be more tougher for me from now on.

Yesterday was already so bad that I was madly stressed to the extend that I pulled my papa, to go makan satay all of a sudden!! OMG!! I missed those satay so badly as I used to have it quite often before. So after then got even more stressed so ended up in Club 9 to listen to some beats and watched WWE.

Thank god that actually helped but total damage for the night was RM50. >.<

Yea I know RM50 is not that much but for just lazying around that seemed alot... LOLX

But can't be doing so every night though... Now just got off work gonna go for drama practice. Yet still am hoping that things would work out 1 way or another. Hope if there is any such left. Sigh...

FML gao gao~

Gosh I thought I could finally get some extra rest when I finally managed to get back early around almost 9pm. Then talked to my baby awhile and since she was going out soon after that didn't really get much chance to talk much so I just headed to bed.

My wish of wanting to have atleast a proper sleep was halted as I had dreams of dead zombies, dead people, murders and so on. Obviously I got scared and woke up. Thought wanna check if my baby was around or not since it was 4am and past few days she's been awake that timing.

Tried sms no reply, tried calling no answer. So i was left there sitting alone in my dark cold room too scared to sleep as I do have a habit of having re-occurrence or continue-ing dreams. That's one thing that was very disturbing as images of my dream was always around me.

Though i did feel tired was kinda too awake till it was already starting to become bright! Then I realised it was already 7.30am! Fuck! Too late even if I wanted to sleep so i just got up took a super duper 45 mins long shower to soothe myself.

Then was already on the way to work. Yet still, the images are hunting me. Hated it so so much. Want some pampering to soothe my feelings... T___T

Where is my baby? T___T Want ma baby~

FML over and over again

I feel so lethargic and tired after a long day. I was already feeling unwell when I woke up not to forget the feeling of emptiness and deprived that I've had since waking. Came to office hoping things are okay and kinda took my mind of my warning from my boss already.

As i walked pass his door to get my punch card, he called me and started saying that I am taking things for granted and giving excuses as I have been going out to party and have problem waking up in the morning!!

I was like wtf?! I couldn't believe what was actually being said as it was really unexpected. To make things worst he actually throws me a documented paper saying that I was late and I had to sign it. T___T

So pissed I was that I really felt like breaking his face for saying it. So I asked him where he heard it from and he just go like I made a research about your background last saturday! I couldn't help but to start laughing and though he had a puzzled face he still wanted to have the last laugh by saying that 1 more lateness and I need a new job ady.

So I just said that he'd got the wrong person as the last I went club was during my bday which is in Feb!! And the last I drank was with my gf and thomaz!! He was like don't give me all those stories so I said I am heading to go do my work as I realized he ain't listening.

As if that's not enough, been sick and doctor doesn't seem to know what's wrong with me. T___T

Took my blood samples and report out tomorrow oni. He checked me and except for a mild fever, he said am fine! But i complained saying am having body ache and feeling weird. He then just gave me some meds and asked me to come back tomorrow as he doesn't know what's wrong with me!!! T_____T

Lucky it's covered with insurance!! If not sure dead as that little visit's bill was about RM60!! Damn fuck expensive though he didn't really do anything!!! Beh-song-ness to the max!!!!

~We are humans too~

I've been wondering lately, is there any NGO or Government Bodies that actually provide a certain kinda protection for Customer Service agents. By the way, I am a customer service rep for FedEx.

Even when I just joined in, nobody actually said it's a good choice as they said the job is terrible. But after coming here, I realized that the job is a wonderful job but the treatments that we are given is what I rather call as terrible.

I bitterly disappointed with how things are. I mean customer service agents are humans too. Eventually when a customer is abusive, the most a customer service rep could do is end the call and yet still they'd get into trouble and the best of all is even when they don't end the call they'd still get into trouble for having complains coming againts them.

People eventually treat customer service reps worst than dogs sometimes. Then how are we supose to expect to receive a good treatment from customer service reps when we call in? This is logical enough for anyone to understand. But still some might say that they didn't do anything wrong but imagine, customer service reps answer a whole lot of calls a day and whether good or bad customers they still provide their service.

Yet still yea i agree its still their job to do so, but think about it. Some people eventually call into customer service because they are bored!! WTF?! That's not it, customer can simply call and use abusive language or whatsoever and go off without anything. While the customer service agents have suck up to it and continue on as if nothing happened.

Why is there no campaigns or atleast a group that acutally fights for customer service rights? Even my company which eventually says employees come 1st, don't even have anything to protect us. All they say is deal with it because they are customers. I mean the saying "customer is always right" could be rational at times but not all the time.

As i see it, am worried that in the next 5 years, customer service agents would not even be given a normal human rights. I know i might sound dramatic but the way things are seems like that right? So i was telling my boss about my experience with 1 customer who eventually hurt me with what he said, and all he said was,
"oh he ar, He is always like that. You can't say anything about it."

And i was like, WTF?! What's with that reply? I know customer service rep means dealing with all sorts of people but still abusive behavior is not supose to be supported right?

I am really disappointed that we are in such a modern world at the moment but people are still not educated about customer service. As when you want a good service, you have to be provide a good service 1st right? Same like the saying goes, "give respect to earn respect" and isn't that true enough?

Totally FML

I was on the phone with my baby at 4am and she asks me to go sleep cz worried that i might not be able to wake up at 6am to go work. But eventually i ended up waking by 6am and got bus finally at 8am! And when i thought that yet still i could make it to work early, I sat in relax and suddenly as the bus was moving into Federal Highway, it stops with the engine smoking!

0.0!!! I was like "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" Cz i already had few times when due to stupid public transport, being late to work and thats really upsetting. So I waited for taxi while frantically dialing my colleague's numbers as well as trying to reach my boss to tell them of the situation!!

That's when people tend not to pick up your call!! I was like why the fuck these people need to have phone and ended up getting through to 1 of my colleague at 8.45am. Mind you was trying to call since 8.15am. Plus due to the strategic place of my bus' stop, there wasn't any cabs who was willing to stop. I was already pissed, depressed, tired, and heartbroken, and panicking! So I called my another boss, Ms Yen. Tell her my problem as I started to walk towards Subang Parade and she eventually told me it's ok.

Yet still I was very disappointed in myself and worst was the attitude of taxi drivers as they eventually either put a price tag of RM30 or they say that area not convenient! So with my heart racing I caught a cab nearby subang parade and I felt so relieved as I was gonna pass out due to out off breathe!

Thank god he was kind and friendly atleast something after such a struggle and I eventually only paid like RM15! Half the price that was even put out by the other cab drivers!! Damn wtf?!

Is there any way that those irresponsible cab drivers to be punished for their behavior? Plus its like cab drivers call the shot on the price and which way they want to go rather than the customer. Unless this is being sorted out, we are certainly going to fall back on public transportation side as even most the cabs that are running around are like gonna break down anytime while they charge like mad! Sigh really FML day today....

~Bus Service in M'sia~

Yesterday me and a fellow colleague were going back from work so went to the Bus Stop waiting for Rapid Kl bus to come. Though that time we didn't realize the time moving so we chatted awhile then got into the bus and moved on. But weirdly enough it wasn't that long a wait after all as normally the bus would only come once every hour or more.

Something I never got to understand why in such a busy area its so damn freaking hard to get a bus! In fact, the bus is so hidden that people barely notice of it's existence!

Imagine how busy a place Uptown Damansara is but with sucky public transport service!! Eventually Metro Busses are more frequent visitors there!! *smack head*

Anyways I reached Kelana Jaya at 8.15PM!! Mind it that I was off work at 6.30PM yesterday!! Yea , its that bad plus the terrible jam that always happen at the LDP for no logic reason. So from Kelana Jaya LRT I was waiting while reading a novel I borrowed from another colleague. "A Walk to Remember" and eventually I was literally halfway through when the bus even got started up!

And there was almost some fight that started off with people being really unhappy with the bus driver and lucky the station master was smart enough to come and get the bus moving though he was kinda moody as well. And not to forget the driving style! Gosh! Felt like a newbie driver on rage! Wtf?!

Finally reached back at 10plus plus and was too tired to do anything else. Ended up FFK my friends and went straight to sleep after a short chat with ma baby.

I wonder how we, the public could do to make the public transportation system to improve... Sigh