It is time to move~

Once again am back here today but although the topic sounds like a potential emo post coming up, I am pretty much feeling okay about this. Just felt that this is the only way I could convey what I wanted to say as I am not being given the chance to do it right.

I have come to realize a lot of things recently and basically I just want to let it all out as I really would like to have a new start and lead my life on.

It's been a difficult period of time for the past few months as I was trying to pick myself back up after that particular night. I still remember that time when you'd won't even wanna look at my face.

"We were both young when I first saw you. I close my eyes and the flashback starts~" - Love Story (Taylor Swift). I still remember everything as if it wasn't that long ago since we knew each other.

I'm not going to stress over you anymore. I still remember the promise I made to you, I told you I'd never ask you to choose between me and your family. Although there times when I seemed to have forgotten it, now I've learned to accept it and respect it.

 I'm not trying to say I don't want you, because I definitely do but I'm taking my heart back and leaving the pieces on the floor. Despite the memories I can't do this anymore.

Before I was so scared of losing you, of not being able to hear your voice, your laughter, feel your arms around me but now I know that those are things I wouldn't ever be able to forget, things I can't lose because they'll forever be a part of me and who I am.

Tremendous amount of memories we've created and I will treasure them and I never regret.

"If it’s good, it’s wonderful. If it’s bad, it’s experience." -Victoria Holt

1 thing I can surely say is that you'll never be gone from my heart. Part of me will always love you. But it's okay, because I've let you go. I hope you'll have a great life. I know I will from now on.

It wasn't easy to cope I'll admit. But am kinda proud of myself that I've managed to pick myself to even reach to this level where I can even learn to accept your wish despite all of what mine are. 

You've helped me to grow up by teaching me a lot of things. Even now I find it hard to believe who I am right now compared to who I used to be when I first met you.

I thought I'd be singing it like,

"Marry me, Juliet, you'll never have to be alone.
I love you, and that's all I really know.
I talked to your dad ‒ go pick out a white dress
It's a love story, baby, just say, "Yes". - Love Story (Taylor Swift)

But who who'd have thought.

 “There is a time for departure, even when there is no certain place to go.”  -  Tennessee William

Probably this is my time to depart and search for my next destination while I watched you depart long time ago. 

"Written with a pen, sealed with a kiss" they say.

I didn't lose you. I let you go. I didn't get over you. I moved on. When you truly love someone, you never lose them or get over them. They'll always mean something to you.

Though there parts of me thinking that probably I didn't fight hard enough to safe what we had, but relationships are like glasses. Sometimes it’s better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together.

However still, I am glad that it happened and no regrets about it. I still have 1 last wish though, while we work our ways to lead our own lives back on track, I'd just wish to have our last cup of coffee together to let things end on a nicer note.

I was turned down once but I'm asking for it once more. I understand and respect your decisions but this is just my last wish from you.

I am not sure how this post will effect you, regardless of whatever or however it does, I am sorry. I had no other way and keeping it within me was difficult. I'll always miss you.  Probably you could be one who who got away. No matter where you are, what you are doing, who you are with, or whatever, I will still care about you.